We Might Be Nhüts

 Colin: Yeah, so, if you go outside tonight, in the yard, for any reason.... there is a weird high pitched squeaking noise, and I don't know what it is.

Me: Aliens.

Colin: Aliens, eh?

Me: Yup, totally.

Colin: Well it sounds like the alien is up in trees, or on the roof.

Me: Duh. Alien squirrel.

Colin: Yeah? An alien squirrel?

Me: Yup, from the planet Nut.

Colin: Did you just say "alien squirrel from planet nut"? Like "N" "U" "T"?

Me: No, actually it's Planet "N" "H" "Ü" "T" with the lil' umlat over the "u".

Colin: *laughing hard*

Me: Alien squirrels enjoy proper grammatical etiquette, don't hate.

Colin: Oh, I'm not hatin'... *still laughing*, kinda lovin' this.

Me: Know what else you kinda love?

Colin: What's that?

Me: Me, as your housemate of forever. Admit it, you kinda love me and my constant proof of why I don't need to do drugs.

Colin: Yeah. I don't need to "admit" that, it's self-evident.

Me: I know.
(*here's where I go back to laying on the floor next to the furry diva beast singing ♫♪♫♪♫"On top of spaghettiiii.... all covered with cheeeeee..... I lost my pooooor meatballlll..... when somebody sneeeeeeeezed...."♫♪♪♪♫♫*)


************ and THAT, my friends, is more of the why/how Colin & I have been living with each other longer than any relationship we've been in... we "get" each other. Rare, very rare.

Does Anyone Else Understand Us?

Colin, as most of you know, has been my housemate for YEARS... and here is the perfect example of why:

this conversation began as he walked in the door from work:



Me: dude, the stove top shit the bed.
Colin: (looks around) which one?
Me: uh... (points at sofa) that one.
Colin: huh? 
Me: the one your standing next to, goober.
Colin: oh, I was all worried you meant stuffing.
Me: when have I ever made you stuffing?
Colin: 4 Novembers back when Tyler was here.
Me: right, no... good memory though, but no. It smoked then flames shot out of it. Call me crazy, but electric ranges aren't supposed to do that right?
Colin: nope
Me: please tell Santa I need a new one
Colin: this Santa can't afford it.
Me: (looking at prices on line) Ohhh! I found one, only $7000 and change.
Colin: Oh, yeah, I got that, no problem
Me: pocket change, totally
Colin: totally
Me: If I had a space twice as big, 15' ceilings, and about 100,000 extra dollars, I'd put in an amazing chandelier, a huge hanging pot rack... and get a Viking.
Colin: you'll need a big ass range hood for a Viking
Me: no, I mean a real viking, like with a cool helmet and stuff
Colin: oh, right.. ok... what's he gonna do?
Me: make us oatmeal.
Colin: obviously.
(again... this is why we have lived together for 8+ years...we "get" each other. )

This would be my favorite picture EVER of Colin & I... 'cause I look shitfaced, and he looks all protective.... when in actuality, that night I was dead sober (and the DD for the night- I almost always am) and he was downright pickled... see what happens in a literal blink of an eye? (which is why I look plastered, I blinked right as someone took our picture) I also love the fact that he's wearing a tux and I have on my Great Grandmother's fur shawl... we looked awesome that night! ... I also had a full on black eye from a stupid curtain hanging incident the day before, but I'm quite good with make up :)