Sweet 16

The strangest feeling flowed over me the other evening. I am not quite sure how to describe it, but I am going to try.

You know those movies where a person either goes back in time, or somehow suddenly wakes up at a much younger age? I'm sure we've all hoped for moments like that from time to time. I, in fact, wish for it relentlessly. I know there's the whole "butterfly effect" to contend with, but I just miss the ease of yesterday... on a fairly regular basis.

Well, the other night it sort of happened. It was like stars were aligning in my favor for once, and as I drove home a smile started to spread across my face.

I had left the house alone and had a blast while I was out (I'll be doing this more often than not I think). Yes, I ran into some friends (George & Phil) that make me laugh... :

George: (holding the most disgusting drink I've ever sipped in my life) You really don't like it?
Me: You know what? I bet it would be better if it tasted good.
*insert laughter and a high five from Phil*

Throw in the fact that I had the good fortune of running into a friend, a guy, that I find ridiculously attractive... yet I feel dirty as hell for thinking it since he's about 16 years younger than me. (I know... I know... whatever, he's hot.) Yeah, my night was filled with silly moments, and crazy thoughts. I loved it.

Suddenly the promise of summer seemed like something to be excited about again. I had this odd giddy feeling of being 16, and not knowing yet that bad kissers existed; that an innocent night at the beach with a boy, by a fire, drinking bad beer...was just that, an innocent night. Suddenly a cute boy was nothing more than something to giggle about with your best friend, and the over thinking the situation part was non-existent. I had that "you make your own destiny" feeling again, and I liked it.

To make it all that more entertaining, the car ride home had the soundtrack of my youth blaring from the speakers. I have no idea what radio station it was since the digital read out has never worked in my car to begin with ... it's all a guessing game. Yet there I was, cruisin' along to music that seems to NEVER be played on the radio these days, like (among others) Level 42 (I can not even begin to tell you how much I used to love this song... and oddly enough, still kinda do to be honest.)


Level 42 - Something About You by jpdc11


The whole reason I had even gone out that night was to make myself tired. I had to be up at the butt crack of dawn for work. I'm currently working 3 jobs (Yes, THREE) this summer, and part of the "training" for one of them was taking place the following morning on the mainland, in New Bedford, MA.  I got a good laugh over the fact that I was being paid to spend the day in New Bedford, since it's not usually a place that most people would choose to spend their time. Oddly enough, my day was epic.

I had to take the fast ferry (which is one of my jobs this summer, selling tickets for it), and as I ran to catch it I watched one of the local buses (the VTA) clip a car and rip the car's front bumper clean off as I was boarding the boat (laughing). While I was cruisin' along at what felt like warp speed through the early morning fog, I sent a message to someone on facebook through my phone. I doubted he'd see the message in time, but I sent it nonetheless.

Hey. I'm on the fast ferry to New Bedford right now....and while I know this is totally last minute, and the chance of you even seeing/reading this before I have to hop on the 3:45p back to the island is slim to none... but... I just figured I'd let you know. I'll try to call if I ended up with any free time while there today. (I am going for work related stuff/training). If not today, some day soon, ok? ♥ G 

I arrived in New Bedford, met some of the people that work for the boat (& they are AWESOME!), and started in with my training. The idea was to get me accustomed to the phone system, the problem was no one called. Seriously, no one. We ended up just using our own cell phones to call, and then practiced transferring calls between the two phones sitting next to each other on the mile long desk.  I'll admit it though, it was pretty funny.

After about 2 hours I stepped outside to have a cigarette (I know, shut up!) and sent a text message to the person I had sent that facebook message to earlier... 30 min later he called me. My assumption that he was at work was WRONG; he had taken the day off and wanted to know if I was free in like 30 minutes. The two girls I was working with, in our empty terminal, both agreed that if I wanted to take off for an hour that it would be okay, as long as I was back in time for the next boat. Not only because I needed to be on that boat to get home, but because there would be actual customers and my training would be a bit more realistic than calling one desk phone from the other, or creating mock tickets in the computer system.

I left to go to the bathroom and as I walked back towards the office I noticed a customer standing there talking to one of the girls behind the glass window... then I saw her point at me and the customer turned around.... 

It was no customer... it was... oh you'll love this!.... him. Who is he? My ex boyfriend from when I was 16 years old. We hadn't seen each other since the end of summer 1988. A year or two back we reconnected through facebook (isn't that how everyone connects/reconnects these days?) and had sorta been promising to get together and hang out. Suddenly I had an hour of free time to do just that. 

We smiled, we hugged, and I had the startling realization that I did not actually grow 2" since I was 18... I grew 3". Holy shit! Yeah, I honestly remember him being much taller than me back then... now I tower over him. That was a weird moment. Truth be told, I'm pretty sure that was weird for both of us.

"Quasimodo", a 37-foot male humpback

We wandered into the city, and he pointed out some historical buildings as we chatted about this, that, and the other. An hour was just not enough time to spend with someone who you haven't seen in so long. At one point he had me go peek in the giant glass window of the Whaling Museum to check out the massive whale skeletons suspended from the ceiling. I'll be honest, it was totally bad ass. He asked me if I wanted to see more (I did), and brought me inside, he bought us both tickets (sooo not used to someone buying me anything, but it was super sweet of him), and then he proceeded to give me the funniest damn tour of anything I've ever been on.

"This is a picture of an old dude."

"Here's more paintings of old guys"

"This is harpooning stuff, and other old things"

"Here's what the old guys in the paintings used to do stuff with"

I was cracking up. I had forgotten just how unintentionally hysterical he was. Once the whirlwind tour of "all the old whaling stuff" was over, we went to a bar for a drink. Well, I was technically at work, so I lived on the edge and drank a Diet Coke® :) ... and I made it back exactly 1 hour after I had left. Just in time for the crazy crunch of customers that wait till the last damn minute to get their tickets. 

I got on board the ferry, heading for home, with a smile on my face. Such a strangely epic day really.... and it all started at 12:03am as I drove home feeling 16 again... and then had to train for a job, which I haven't had to do since I was about 16, since most jobs I've had since the age of 16 don't usually require "training" insomuch as plain ol' hands on experience... and then hung out with the boy I was bananas for at 16.... yeah, I liked that day. I liked it a lot... it was... well... in a word... sweet.

 

One Week

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying

Get that together come back and see me

1 week, 3 deaths of friends (1 car accident, 1 suicide, and 1 suspected accidental suicide via overdose) plus news of another friend being told they had approx 18 months to live, tops.

 Hello shitastic week, I was wondering when you'd arrive. 2011 was going just too nicely wasn't it? Dick.

Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

There is a part of me that feels I need to apologize for being a horrible blogger as of late- be it posts, comments, or just reading yours... but... life happens even when you're not lookin'... and these past two or so weeks have truly proved that.

Hold it now and watch the hood wink
As I make you stop think
You'll think you're looking at aqua man
I summon fish to the dish although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the Sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan

Following all that was the funeral of one of those friends, and a visit of another friend (so he could attend the funeral as well) who I had not seen in over 20 years... a friend who the last time I saw him was walking on his own.

Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake

Now after a horrifying car accident... a car accident which no one, including him, knows the true circumstances of outside of the facts that he was not on drugs, or drunk, and no true investigation was ever done into the fact that it was probably a hit and run... he was eventually left with 3/4 of one leg, and currently unable to use his other leg till the extensive nerve damage in that one heals.

I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver

While he was here I personally got to witness some of the most outstanding fortitude a human could possibly possess while spending the week with him.... and it all started on the ferry boat ride back to the island after I borrowed a friend's car on the mainland to get him back here from Logan Airport in Boston. (About 70 miles from the ferry boat)

The ferry had docked, we took the elevator down to the cargo hold (where all the cars on the ferry boat are kept for the 45 min. ride to the island) and as he exited, backwards- since the elevator is too small for someone in a wheelchair to turn around- his wheelchair flipped up and backwards which flung him onto his back which made it so he smacked his head against the steel wall of the ferry boat. (TOTALLY the boat's fault, not his.)

I can tell you all right now that I know what my heart tastes like, because it rose up and out of my chest like a jesus lizard on 89 Red Bulls®



The taste is no better going back down....

Seconds later the cars that were in view of what happened stopped and drivers leapt out to run over to help. (It was a brief moment of faith in humanity, that's for sure)... moments passed and some employees of the SSA came to our aid. I checked his head to see if there was blood (none, thankfully) and eventually he was able to prop himself up against the steel wall in front of that horrible (& totally shit built) elevator. They asked him if he wanted to have an ambulance called. He initially said no... but... and I shit you not.... there was suddenly a flash mob of EMTs.

I was almost kinda shocked that they didn't break into a dance routine to be honest. They arrived SO quickly... but then again, the town ambulance is directly across the street from where the ferry docks... still, super fast response.

Eventually they took him to the ER... and our first 7 1/2 hours on the island together were spent at MVH in the ER. I'll tell you that with the exception of two amazing nurses (Amanda and Lisa) that night... the MVH is shit and you should NEVER go there, for any reason outside of using the bathroom or trying to snag a bunch of purple plastic gloves (which I TOTALLY took, thankyouverymuch) along with odd gadgets you can't say no to like a suction catheter ... yeah, snagged one of those too... just 'cause it made us laugh.

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

He took this pic with his fancy Droid phone and posted it on facebook... I left the comment: "how is it that the bags under MY eyes are darker & deeper than yours? I'm not the one that got rushed to the ER! Maybe they got it wrong? Can I have some meds?" (Can I just add here that I oddly enough find this to be a fairly cute picture of us? 'Cause it totally is!) 

We managed to somehow crack ourselves up most of the night, and finally around 2:30am he was released from the ER and we went home to my Mother's house where we planned to stay. My house would have been beyond impossible for him to get into. At my Mother's he still had to crab crawl up the porch steps, and then I got all MacGyver and created an insta-ramp with some spare wood from the garage.. but once inside we were golden. Master bedroom on main floor as well as bathrooms with jacuzzi tubs (which he LOVED). We finally ate some food, got ready for bed, and 2 hours later woke up to take a ferry again back to the mainland for our friend's funeral. I wore A LOT of black eye make up...at least I think I did. I couldn't tell. I just know it looked like I had gone slightly goth thanks to the dark circles and bags under my eyes.

Chickity China of the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the smoking man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like snickers guaranteed to satisfy

I realize this next sentence is going to sound VERY weird, but I'm just going to say it: we had a really nice time at the funeral. We got to meet a lot of our friend Lauren's family (really wonderful people) and see some friends we had not seen in YEARS, one of them (for me at least) since 1989... and afterwards were invited by Lauren's family to a lunch at a local restaurant where they (Lauren's family)  moved the entire gathering to the first floor when they realized there was no access for Dave's wheelchair on the 2nd floor where the gathering was originally being held, and I think they also realized that the 6 of us who knew Lauren from school were not parting with each other, for any reason that afternoon.

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will

Though... they might have wanted to change their minds when they saw how we housed the salad... at least I did.....

yes, I knew he was taking the picture, I don't normally eat like that, I swear!

Lauren's family was constantly rotating and coming to sit with us, and talk to us. It all felt, well... loving. Yeah, that's the best possible word to use. Do you know what I mean? Sure there were tears, and very sad moments, it was a funeral for cryin' out loud (did that too), but there were smiles and laughter... and people that just genuinely enjoyed being with each other. How sad that it can take a funeral to make people realize that sort of thing.

Do you ever have those experiences? A group (or groups) of people that might normally never really associate with each other due to day to day obviousness who find out they have more in common with each other than they do differences? Kinda beautiful really.

So much more happened over the course of the following 7 days... but that's another blog post, for another day...

I love a good laugh. Not just a chuckle, or a giggle... though those are pretty great too... but I'm talkin' cheeks hurtin', sides splittin', you almost fall out of your chair laughs. I know a lot of those moments are of the "you had to be there" variety, but there are some things that can be appreciated by everyone, and one of my favorites- the thing that has my eyes misting over from unstoppable laughs- is Chuck Norris. Well, not so much Chuck himself as much as the infamous, and seemingly never ending list of "facts" about him. I beg of you, if you know any, please share... and I will share some of my all time favorites with you right now:

• Chuck Norris had sex in a semi-truck, and a drop of semen fell on the seats.... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
• Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck Norris got it back.
• Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
• Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
• Wolverine is Chuck Norris' pet kitty.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer 
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

C'mon... try to tell me none of those make you laugh (You know, if you didn't, you have ZERO sense of humor and I am now questioning why we are friends...)

Ever try to google him?

(click to enlarge)

I have no idea why I find this all so funny, but I do.