Tonight....

I miss....him..... this......

a lot.

The Mom Arm

I pulled a "mom arm" last night on one of my best friends.
You know the "mom arm" right? It's that moment when you're in the car and, even though you are wearing a seat belt in the passenger seat, a sudden stop occurs and the arm of the driver (usually a parent) just whips over in front of the passenger as if that arm can protect you from harm.

We weren't in a car... just walking along, talking, laughing, heading over to see a friend at work last night and have a drink... but right as we rounded the corner my eyes focused in on the very last person either of us wanted to see. I don't remember even thinking of saying or doing anything... my arm just instinctively reached over and whipped my friend around in the opposite direction. She didn't make a sound, and neither did I. For about 1/2 a block we just walked quickly... then she looked up at me (which she's gotta do since I'm about 10" taller, no joke) and said with a smile and laugh in her voice "can we hug?" So we did, and we giggled... and it all felt right.

At the end of the evening we talked about what happened, and both found it so funny that our instincts, and really our trust in each other, made it transpire so seamlessly. It was like every inch of my being's energy was thrust into my arm last night... and some how, some way, she felt that and didn't question it.

It may sound weird to you, especially if you've never experienced a moment like that. A moment where your instincts, combined with concern for someone else and their well-being, just take over any conscious thought and act on their own... add in the "Wonder Twin"-ish aspect of them just knowing and it's pretty great.... and if you knew the whole story of who the person was that neither of us wanted to see... well, that makes it funnier. If only we had a pet monkey named "Gleek."

Human Test

This is a test... if this story does not make you cry, or at least bring you close to tears ... you are not human.

Danny Perasa and his wife, Annie, came to StoryCorps to recount their twenty-seven-year romance. As they remember their life together from their first date to Danny’s final days with terminal cancer, these remarkable Brooklynites personify the eloquence, grace, and poetry that can be found in the voices of everyday people when we take the time to listen.


Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

Things I Actually Own

.... and might very well wear today....

 

I'm 100% sure no one reading this actually gives a flying fuck what I am planning to wear today, but I can't sleep, I'm bored as hell, and yet again polyvore.com is there to entertain me.

Chinese Potato

We have a rule at work: if it's on the floor, it stays on the floor. 

We have hired cleaners come in each night during the wee small hours to take care of the nastiness. This is an amazing thing considering how disgusting the floor of your average bar is at the end of every night... but if you think THAT is bad, you should try to get a glimpse of the floor behind the bar. BLECH! Hundreds of bottle tops, sticky puddles of liquids that were, once upon a time, headed into a glass or blender but changed their minds en route. So what exactly is it that made me pause and pick up a small skinny strip of paper? I have no idea.
   BUT... I know why I stuck it in my pocket: I liked the message.

...and it reminded me of something a very important person in my life said to me once, "You may very well have the strongest, yet most subtle fortitude of anyone I've ever met, hopefully someday your recognize it too." I remember the exact words because they were written in a letter to me, and I still have that letter. I read it often because I miss the person who wrote it. I miss him every day... every. damn. day. 

This is the problem with forming meaningful bonds with people... when they become the person you trust most, tell everything to, turn to for support & advice, and expect to have in your life for...well... life.... you might find yourself in my position. Eternally missing a piece of your heart, your best friend, your confidant. The person you would turn to in times of happiness to share your joy; the one that during relationship issues may not have had the answers, but they always had the shoulder to cry on and the ears to listen; the best friend that you swore you'd have your future children call "Uncle." This is what happens when your best friend dies. It's been almost 10 years now, and it still hurts just to type those words.

However, I am happy to report that upon flipping the little piece of paper over I got a good laugh and realized that for once I wouldn't wish he was here to answer one of life's biggest mysteries:

How do you say potato in Chinese?

 

.....and I am sooooo playing those #'s in the lottery.