Hey Diddle Diddle

I DO understand that "in the moment" questions about things that make zero sense to someone are kinda exceptions... but I've been noticing over the past year or so that not too many (read: not enough) people take the time to try to figure out things for themselves. Seems people are quick to ask how/why/when/where without bothering to think the answers are super easy to find. Hi Google! I ♥ you!
There is NOTHING wrong with asking questions, nor should anyone ever be afraid to ask one ... but sometimes it will pay off to find the answer yourself if you can.
So for once and for all I am about to placate quite a few, 'cause I'm gettin' sick of answering the question "What are fiddleheads?"... or "how do I cook them?"... though the cooking question I fully understand, but only because I tend to want recipes from people I personally know that have cooked the dish. You know, 'cause it's already had a test run. Ever try to find a recipe on line, and read the comments that appear under it? I swear every person says stuff like "this was good & all, but I'd add/leave out *insert food item*" or they complain about oven temp/cooking time... ad nauseam.

Soooo.... in answer to the 2 questions I have been asked REPEATEDLY over the past two months (What are fiddleheads?/how do you cook them?) .........

 FIDDLEHEADS:

"Fiddleheads or Fiddlehead greens are the furled fronds of a young fern,^[1] harvested for use as a vegetable. Left on the plant, each fiddlehead would unroll into a new frond (circinate vernation). As fiddleheads are harvested early in the black season before the frond has opened and reached its full height, they are cut fairly close to the ground.
Fiddleheads have antioxidant activity, are a source of Omega 3 and Omega 6, and are high in iron and fibre.^[2]
The fiddlehead resembles the curled ornamentation (called a scroll) on the end of a stringed instrument, such as a violin. It is also called a crozier, after the curved staff used by bishops, which has its origins in the shepherd's crook." (Wikipedia)

So there is the technical answer. My answer to "what are fiddleheads?" ? THREE DIFFERENT KINDS OF AWESOME, THAT'S WHAT!!! Seriously, if you dig asparagus... you'll love the @#$% outta fiddleheads! (Asparagus is the only vegetable I can even remotely compare fiddleheads to, but the truth is, they're only vaguely similar in taste/texture)


How do you cook them? Well, I'll tell you how I cook them.... and lucky you... I took pictures.

First you gotta clean them off. I bought one of those sink strainers at Ikea years ago (totally worth the $10 bucks)







See?

 THEN.... you can cut a little bit of the ends off, or just break them off. I couldn't break them off AND take a picture. I'm just not that awesome... so I cut them.

 Next up:

• boil some water... 
• while the water is boiling, slice up some bacon (like 3 or 4 slices) into 1" to 2" chunks. 
• throw the bacon into a frying pan

• check the water... & once it's boiling throw in the fiddleheads.

Take note of the time....

'cause only 1 minute later....

• Take the fiddleheads off the burner. 

You can strain them, in a colander, or use one like I've got over my sink... (OR just do what I did and use a slotted spoon... 'cause I'm wicked lazy and didn't want to do a bunch of dishes)... then dump them into the frying pan with the pretty much cooked bacon. Stir um all up together....

and if you have some lemon (I HIGHLY recommend organic lemons, holy crap they're yummy!!)... cut a wedge off and squeeze it in there too...

THEN... dump it all in a big bowl and eat the $#!& out of it!! 

 There really are TONS of recipes out there for fiddleheads, but this is MY favorite (for now) way to cook them... and after not eating since yesterday around 3pm (not including multiple cups of coffee & tea)... it tasted EXTRA yummy :)

Enjoy! ... and by all means, if you have some tried & true recipes for fiddleheads, PLEASE share 'um!

The Ongoing Saga Of The Unrestful Bedroom

The saga of my messy bedroom continues. I think I just need to rearrange the room... problem is, I'm pretty sure I've explored like every option out there. Next thing you know I'll be trying to put a hole in an exterior wall and making space that way. It's a REALLY good job I don't know the first thing about doing that... yet...BUT there's always google!
However, that said, I doubt google has the answer I'm looking for today. I know, 'cause I tried that already... what? I did. I asked google to fix my crappy bedroom and got links to cell phone related issues.....

see?!

 Anyone wanna try their hand at interior design? Specifically my bedroom....

Look, here is the only kinda nice picture (albeit a partial view) I have of my bedroom, from back when it was super tidy and arranged differently:

 And then there's the one that starts to show the insane clutter a week or so back (mind you I threw all that stuff on the bed so that I could go through it all, and THAT has since been put away)....

So, in lieu of trying to take a bunch of potentially even more embarrassing pictures... I just made a lil' scaled down (though I'm 100% sure the scale of it is a bit off, if anything I'm probably being slightly generous with the proportions... it is a TINY bedroom. This is the best I could do today:

this would be the basic layout of my bedroom (& I totally f'd up and added a second phone jack where there is actually an outlet (lower right corner)... whatever...)

THIS is how the furniture is currently arranged:

I left out a lot of the little things like lamps and rugs, but you get the idea, right?

This would be one of the options, similar to that first photograph I posted at the top:

and this would just be a slightly different (but pretty much the same) option:

That last one just means I have to try to find a new place (outside of the room) for my steamer trunk. I kinda love having it around though. Not only great for storage of off season things.. but it was my Grandpa's. It even went to war with him. I love that trunk ♥
Just so we are clear here... the reality of my bedroom is currently more like this:

NOT. EVEN. KIDDING. In fact I think I might have left out about 80 kazillion things....

Does anyone have any good ideas? The only thing I just KNOW I would not be comfortable doing is placing my bed against the wall where the closet is, you know, so that it's facing out the door. That's super duper bad luck right there. It's the death position. People who are sick and dying get put in bed like that so that when they croak it's easier to get them out of the room... gross eh? Plus it's waaay un-feng shui.
Mind you I never gave a damn about that sort of thing... till I made the mistake of reading all about it one day back in college. (*grumble*stupid rainy days!*grumble*) Now I am annoyingly, and acutely aware of all the things I may be doing wrong in a room, decor wise, and it makes me a bit kooky.

Any and all suggestions are welcome. While there may be a chance I've already tried it/thought about it... that doesn't mean it shouldn't be revisited again, you know?

I do really like the idea of being able to get into bed from either side, even though I, like 99.9% of humans tend to have a "favorite" side and stick to it. Plus the armoire holds the majority of my clothes, so... big a beast as it may be, I kinda need it for now. In a perfect world I'd have a gorgeous bed with LOADS of storage under it... though, oddly THAT is considered a bad idea by these feng shui jerks too. Apparently NOTHING is supposed to be under your bed.
I'm down with the idea of no monsters there, but what about all my crap that I can't part with yet?! ... and I'm kinda liking the idea that my army of dust bunnies are protecting it all, at least that's what I tell myself.


HELP!

The Only Thing We Have To SPAM Is SPAM Itself

Are you totally sick of SPAM? I don't think I'll ever get tired of it. For some reason it's kinda endlessly amusing to me. Sure, back in the "olden days," you know, when we all pretty much only had AOL and it took like 10 minutes just to get on line... and you were probably charged per minute for that too, getting SPAM was SO annoying. There was no way to filter it.... But now places like Google have taken it up a notch and not only filter it all out, and give you a wee fiesta for a moment....

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but they put it all in the same place, and let you delete it all at once! Though, I am seriously considering starting a petition that would make google set off like fireworks or glitter or something festive each time the "Hooray, no spam here!" appears. How awesome would THAT be? Seriously.

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(make fun of my goofy (literally, eh?) self portrait all you like, I think it's funny too.  I'll never be able to create the awesome stuff Cake Betch does, but I don't even have a mouse, let alone half her talent at this stuff. I do everything on the wee "tickle pad" as I call it... I have no idea what it's actually called...)

Some of the SPAM that appears in my inbox is so bad I get the feeling that after they write out their idiotic letters they just go to babblefish to (try to) translate it.... 'cause there is pretty much no other way to explain the stupidity that oozes from the crap that arrives daily.

My Mother was an English teacher and because of her I find myself either spending ages editing and checking for punctuation/spelling errors in everything I read/write, or I just go ahead and enjoy the whole "I don't give a rats ass" concept of just lettin' it go and typing in my own vernacular. I think I'm a fairly even combo of the two. I'll happily call someone an asshat fucktard, but I'll manage use a semicolon when I continue to tell them why they should go eat a bag of dicks. (Gawwwd I can be so feminine sometimes, eh? ;p )

All that said.. guess what I got earlier? Oh this one is fantastic! Did I follow my usual MO (modus operandi) to write back? Ohhh you betcha!!

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Dear Respectfully, 
My name is Anabelle Webb, sorry for the medium by which I am sending this message to your esteemed self. Work with me for an over discounted Bank Guarantee on a United Nation Contract projects in Dafur, Sudan, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqi, Ethiopia, Indonesia and Haiti which has duly been completed and commissioned and you will receive 30% of the total value. details will be furnished to you when you indicate your interest in partnering with me in this life time venture. Please contact me urgently.
Yours Sincerely, 
Annabelle Webb
************************
Let's break this one down shall we?

Dear Respectfully, Well, um.. ok... I guess that's a sign of respect to tell me I'm your "dear", but I must say... I feel a little awkward about it. We don't really know each other yet. Though, I have a feeling I will be wanting to contact you in a most urgent manner shortly so I can obtain whatever amazing thing you are offering me!

My name is Anabelle Webb, Hi Annabelle! sorry for the medium by which I am sending this message Wow! You hired a psychic to help you find me? That's Amaaaaazing! No need to apologize, but if they are still there, could you ask them to pass on a few messages to some dearly departed ones? I miss my Grandma. to your esteemed self. Wait, are you saying YOU admire me, or you think I hold myself in esteem? 'Cause that's a lil' presumptuous Annabelle, don't you think? Work with me didn't your Mother teach you to say "please"? for an over discounted "OVER DISCOUNTED"?! WOAH! Bank Guarantee on a United Nation Contract Golly, this sure sounds important and legit to me! projects in Dafur, Hold up, wait...There's a place called "Dafur"?! Really? No way!?! Is it populated with teddy bears?!!! God I hope so! I bet that would be the MOST fabulous place to be on earth! Unlike Darfur, where there is a war waged by the Sudanese government against the non-Arab indigenous population and the region has been in a state of humanitarian emergency since 2003, just sayin'..., Sudan, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraqi,  Just one? One dude from Iraq? Hmm... I wonder if he's as hot as "Sayid" from that TV show LOST.  If it's him, and if he's shirtless... say no more! Count me in!  Ethiopia, Indonesia and Haiti which has duly been completed and commissioned Sooo you're telling me that this project, and it's OVER discounted bank guarantee has been completed according to ALL proper procedures and laws? Yowzers Annabelle, that IS impressive! and you will receive 30% of the total value. Is this 30% of the total value before or after the over discounted bank guarantee?  details will be furnished to you when you indicate your interest in partnering with me in this life time venture. Oh, right, ok then... I'll get right on that. Please contact me urgently. Jeebus Annabelle! Quit bein' so pushy! I get that this is waaay important, but there is no need to be so bossy. I have a feeling a lil' vacay in Dafur with all those cuddly teddy bears would do you a world of good.

Yours Sincerely, I'm sure.

Annabelle Webb Annabelle, did you know that if I google your name the first thing that comes up tells me you have a facebook profile?! This is awesome! I am soooo gonna send you a friend request! We're gonna totally be BFFs I just know it!! Talk to ya soon my new bestie!!!

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PS. Just noticed your subject line... and Annabelle... honey, you'll be waiting a while.