I Crack Me Up

Have you ever used that "private browsing" feature on public(ish) 'puters, or logged into something like facebook from a place you've never logged into from before? If so, then you'll understand what this is....
At one of my jobs I have full internet access, but we have our own internet, so some of the people in the office next door pop over to use my 'puter to check things on the internet ... and I like my privacy among people I don't know too well... so every time I log in, &/or log out of facebook (which is an incredible cure for boredom some days), I have to rename my "location" because I use the "private browsing" feature. Once I realized it'd send a message to my cell phone... it became fun to log in & out constantly, yesterday alone will show you why:

...and it's not like this was the first time I figured out how to crack myself up.........

I love that I can make myself giggle. I may be the only one snickering, but... whatever... anything that makes my day better is TOTALLY worth it :)

You've Gotta Ask Yourself, "Do I Feel Lucky?" Well Do You, Punk?

So..... there's been a change of plans this summer. My bartending gig at the place I worked last summer has a .000000001% chance of existing at any point this summer. I was sad about it for like an hour, pissed off for like a day or two... then guess what? Totally over it. Too bad really, since I loved that gig... BUT... like with almost all things we loved once, going back to them isn't always as fun.

THOUGH, I will say that the person I was working with last summer, who just about every customer complained about because she was always in a bad mood, is back there this summer. I found it interesting (and totally flattering & smile inducing) that so many different people had individually come up to me, before the bar reopened, to tell me they had asked about me/requested that I be there again... but the person hired back (who I'll totally admit is quite a good bartender, at least at making drinks properly, she's been doing it for years) is the one everyone complained to me about.

Yes, that's her...& no, I did not take that picture

I would have shrugged that off too, but on opening night it was my best friend's birthday... and a group of mutual friends were out with a bunch of girls at a bachelorette party that had decided to go dancing at my old bar... so, seeing as how it was my best friend's birthday, and I was the designated driver that night (someone had to get us home safe, and the birthday girl could barely sit on a bar stool safely halfway through the night)... I went down there. It was like going to your ex's place after a shitty break up. I didn't like it, but what made me just walk out of there without a word was looking behind the bar and seeing the moody bartender in a short pink wig. Yeah, I found it mildly pathetic, and left.

you've seen MY hair, right?

When I went back upstairs to the other bar I sat down to talk to one of the bartenders I totally think the world of and we laughed about it. THEN some random guy goes and sits right next to me (mind you, the bar itself was rather empty, he had a wide range of bar stools to pick from) and while my initial instinct was to just ignore him and continue my conversation with the bartender, the guy engages me in conversation, has some funny stuff to say, and then asks me "where are you from?" When I told him I lived here on the island, and "in fact I used to be a bartender downstairs", he laughs and says "well why the hell aren't you still down there? You're fun as hell, and way nicer than that grumpy wig wearin' bitch they've got there now." Oh man, I laughed my ass off! He proceeded to tell me how he and his friends had stopped in there at the beginning of the night and she was HORRIBLE to them. Totally cold and unfriendly. To the point that a bunch of guys, after a long day at work, chugged their drinks so they could get out of there ASAP. I laughed harder, THEN I witnessed him complain to the bar staff about her. Yeah, I enjoyed myself immensely from that moment forward. The guy was a lot of fun, and from my home town of Chicago (♥!!!). At the end of the night we exchanged emails and promised to get in touch so we could hang out again when he came back to the island (he and his work crew come out here once or twice a year to do work for a wealthy family from back home that has a 2nd house here) and I took Drunky McBirthdayGirl (and some others) home safely.

I loved that the next day I got a txt from her that said "thank you for driving last night!"
So I sent one back that just said "Thank you for NOT driving!"... and I also got a good laugh via facebook:

*click to enlarge*....this has been deleted in the past day or so, probably by her.

As far as jobs go....I ended up scoring a great job for the summer, full time (& started a few weeks ago... hence the sparse blog posts & comments on yours (sorry 'bout that!!!).... with FREE HEALTH CARE! What? Who woulda thought I'd land one of those, eh? Every day I spend the majority of my day sitting on a lovely wooden deck staring at the ocean... since the deck hangs OVER it.. again... WHAT?! The people I work with are fun, and very nice... and the customers, while mostly fairly stupid tourists, are at least nice. Sounds rather perfect doesn't it?
Yeah, I thought so. I was ready to stick with this job for the long haul all summer, and when the season ended... come back to it next summer.


What changed?

Well, the other day (about a week back, in fact the day after I saw the @#$%* in the pink wig) a friend of mine stopped into the office of my current job and we were talking about the shop he was opening with a few others (it's a motorcycle repair shop & retail store). I sorta half jokingly asked him if he was looking for any help, thinking (at the time) that having 3 jobs for the summer just wasn't enough... I didn't really expect his lit up facial reaction!

A day or two later I stopped by the shop, we talked, and I suddenly not only WANTED to work there, but felt like I NEEDED to.

(I love that we look like a 2 headed freak)

I discussed all this with one of my co-workers (who happens to be a good great friend) and it turned out she wanted to quit one of her jobs and work more hours at the job she & I shared... so you know what we did? We switched!

Today we finalized things, and the switcheroos will take place over the next few weeks.

I still have the awesome job overlooking the ocean, but no more free health care though, 'cause I won't be over 40hrs a week there any longer. It'll be in the evenings (& one 10 hr day) each week now, AND I will be working full time, all day, everyday at the bike shop... and doing a ton of graphic design for a business here on the island that has hired me to crank out a bunch of stuff for pretty good money. FINALLY! Life is good!


Throw in the fact that I stopped at the post office today to check my PO Box and there was a fat check from the state. Guess some taxes got overpaid. Um... again... WHAT?! This kind of thing NEVER happens to me! Way to take it up a notch 2011! You've scored yourself one hell of a fightin' chance at awesomeness!!

Anyone else havin' a strange, yet epically excellent bunch of stuff happen lately? I know the saying goes "misery loves company"... but sometimes (most times) I really enjoy hearing other people's good news instead. So, please, do tell!!

If You Don't Laugh You Might Be Dead

After a week or two of ... well... whatever, let's not talk about it... I needed to laugh to the point of tears, the happy kind of tears.. and I'll be damned... I came across these videos today and no matter how many times I watch the first one I laugh till there are tears streaming out of my eyes. Seriously, the first three times I watched it I was doubled over, and I've easily watched it like at least 13 times now ... The second one just makes me giggle endlessly.
I've been reading all your super kind comments on the post prior to this one, and I know I'm not the only one that could use a good laugh too... so....enjoy!

Oh, But There's More!

I've been repeatedly told by a few people (yes, SBW, I listened) that I needed to post a "follow up" to this blog post (it's okay.. go read it, I'll wait.... it won't take you long, it's like a paragraph long at best.)

So.. this past winter when that conversation was mentioned.. one of the people who was actually the person working for Blacks back then had this to say:

Absolutely Click To Enlarge!

Don't you just love it when things not only continue to be funny... but get funnier? :)

*note* on the off chance someone is daft enough to cry racism or tell me that none of this is funny... you A)have ZERO sense of humor and have taken ALL of this out of context & B) should go away, now.

I'm Not Making Risotto With These

So... I'm in London now. I arrived last Wednesday in the wee small hours of the morning, and took the Heathrow Express to Paddington to met up with "My Jerk♥" ('cause meeting up at Heathrow is a headache.) With the exception of some jobs he needed to finish up, we've managed to spend quite a lot of time together, and it has been, in a word, FANTASTIC. I only wish there was internet at the house. I feel I have been seriously slacking in the reading/writing blogs dept. There are quite a few out there that I look forward to reading (if you follow my blog, there is a 99.9% chance I am indeed talking about loving your blog) and have to venture down the road to one of the local cafes to catch up. Not that bad really, but it's just not as nice as being able to curl up under the duvet and surf away.

Though, so far, my favorite thing (outside of "My Jerk♥") has been what he has growing in his bathroom along the base of the shower. He did not plant them, nor did his housemates... but there are mushrooms growing there. I'm not even kidding. Mind you, they are not of the "ha! these are F'n awesome!" variety... they are basically proof that the homeowner needs to do something about the dampness problem in the bathroom.

Everyone knows they should be yanked up, and the area bleached... but it's just so damn gross, yet funny, that no one can bear to do it.

Apparently I'm not your typical "eweee! that's so gross!" female since I find it all totally hysterical.

See for yourself......

Impressively disgusting ain't it? :)

I would like to add here, that for a house with three other men living in it, and no females, it really is remarkably clean, specifically the bathroom.... minus the mushrooms.

I love a good laugh. Not just a chuckle, or a giggle... though those are pretty great too... but I'm talkin' cheeks hurtin', sides splittin', you almost fall out of your chair laughs. I know a lot of those moments are of the "you had to be there" variety, but there are some things that can be appreciated by everyone, and one of my favorites- the thing that has my eyes misting over from unstoppable laughs- is Chuck Norris. Well, not so much Chuck himself as much as the infamous, and seemingly never ending list of "facts" about him. I beg of you, if you know any, please share... and I will share some of my all time favorites with you right now:

• Chuck Norris had sex in a semi-truck, and a drop of semen fell on the seats.... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
• Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck Norris got it back.
• Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
• Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
• Wolverine is Chuck Norris' pet kitty.
• Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
• Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer 
• Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

C'mon... try to tell me none of those make you laugh (You know, if you didn't, you have ZERO sense of humor and I am now questioning why we are friends...)

Ever try to google him?

(click to enlarge)

I have no idea why I find this all so funny, but I do.