Tuesday, November 2, 2010

I love a good laugh. Not just a chuckle, or a giggle... though those are pretty great too... but I'm talkin' cheeks hurtin', sides splittin', you almost fall out of your chair laughs. I know a lot of those moments are of the "you had to be there" variety, but there are some things that can be appreciated by everyone, and one of my favorites- the thing that has my eyes misting over from unstoppable laughs- is Chuck Norris. Well, not so much Chuck himself as much as the infamous, and seemingly never ending list of "facts" about him. I beg of you, if you know any, please share... and I will share some of my all time favorites with you right now:

  • Chuck Norris had sex in a semi-truck, and a drop of semen fell on the seats.... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
  • Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity, Chuck Norris got it back.
  • Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas
  • Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
  • Wolverine is Chuck Norris' pet kitty.
  • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer 
  • Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

C'mon... try to tell me none of those make you laugh (You know, if you didn't, you have ZERO sense of humor and I am now questioning why we are friends...)

Ever try to google him?

(click to enlarge)

I have no idea why I find this all so funny, but I do.


  1. Seaman = A person in the Navy or like.
    Semen = Something emanating from an excited man's appendage.

    But having seen Chuck Norris movies, maybe I am wrong and it is seaman!

  2. bah! Typo. (it happens) Will fix it. Thanks ♥ :)

  3. Chuck Norris jokes are the best. Though I can't remember any of them because I have a really bad memory. Will write it down next time I hear jokes about him :)

  4. "Chuck Norris had sex in a semi-truck, and a drop of semen fell on the seats.... that truck is now known as Optimus Prime."
    That is the funniest thing I have ever heard! I am seriously laughing to myself at my desk. You have to find one that includes Christy Brinkley and the total gym!

  5. @Starlight- Please do! I love them!

    @CRoTM- that one is my personal favorite as well. I think the first time I heard it I almost hyperventilated I was laughing so hard!

  6. Giraffes were created when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse. :-)