Monday, November 21, 2011

Just Say "NO!" To Turkey!

The way we normally celebrate Thanksgiving in this house has apparently had a big ol' honkin' wrench thrown in the plans...

Colin decided to tell me that he was hoping we (& by "we" he means ME, since that guy can't cook anything that doesn't say "heat on high for 3 minutes" and have a Cumberland Farms label on it) could go more traditional for Thanksgiving... which means he tried to convince me to cook a turkey (which I don't like), make stuffing (which I don't eat), cranberry sauce (which I won't eat), and then went off on a drunken tangent about side dishes he'd like to have. I told him I wasn't a fan of turkey, I refused to cook one, and the best he'll get out of me is some chicken I'll throw in a crockpot. Pretty sure he accepted it since he really didn't have any other choice in the matter.

This year however, if/when asked what I am thankful for.... I will have a big long list. At the top of it will still be my Thanksgiving LAST year. A Thanksgiving I spent in a country that doesn't even celebrate that holiday (& understandably so, since we did kinda give them the big ol' "Peace out! Chumps!"... then came here to America to steal this country...)

I will also be thankful for :

my job

my kick ass new faux fur throw on my bed (even if it sheds on me like a cat in late spring),

the killer boots I just scored that are actually tall enough for my long ass stems (even if they put me at 6'2)

the dress I fell in love with in blue, and found in orange (♥) too (even if the majority of people hate orange, I LOVE it)...

the new(to me) car I just got (& will be obsessed with for quite a while),

and the fact that I am finally able to stop sneering at my reflection in the mirror most days... trust me, that's a big one.... I figure I'm less than 2 months from 40 (*gasp!* I know!)
11/11/11... no make up, no nothin'... early morning taking the beast out for her morning... well.. you know... :)

... so I had better just suck it up and accept things as they are, and If I can do that, and other people can not? Um... fuck them! I'm (almost) 40! I'm fun! & I still get carded... and I will always find wearing devil horns to be funny.....

Friday, November 18, 2011

New, To Me!

Ok.. I finally gave up on my POS Ford Exploder... w/ or w/out the extra awesome wonky bumper I made out of aluminum energy drink cans and duct tape to replace the "illegal" one filled with rotted rust holes (which, I might add TOTALLY passed inspection the following day.)
 It was time to find a new (to me) car.

This summer (pretty sure it was August) I had been at the health food store next door grabbing something to cook at work for breakfast (I really can not stress enough how cool it is to have a gourmet kitchen on the premises)... and I noticed a car, a model I was not familiar with... but kinda instantly fell in love with. By the time I had made it back onto the deck at work I was just standing there staring at it.

I HAD to know what it was... so I just dropped my groceries and walked back over to it. On my way over the owner was getting in the car.... I just walked right up to his window, put on my best "I swear I'm not nutters" face, smiled, and said "Hi! What IS this?"

Turned out he was friendly too, and he smiled back and told me, "a 1969 Jeepster Commando."

I informed him of my instant love for the car, and he then told me it was for sale! (!!!!)

We exchanged cards & numbers... and 24 hours later I had lost his number. :(
I just figured it was one of those "if it was meant to be..." things, and that clearly it wasn't meant to be.

Jump ahead to about two weeks ago, on my day off, and I had to stop by work to get a number off the computer. Guess who was there talking to my boss?! Only I didn't recognize him at first. When he smiled at me I had smiled back thinking he was one of the friendly customers we get at our shop, and I must have met him this summer. I should add the fact that he is ridiculously handsome, so I was kinda shocked that I didn't remember exactly who he was in that moment.

Once inside at the computer he and one of my bosses walk in, and the guy says to me "Do you remember me?" ... and my brain went into turbo flashback mode (pretty sure there were flames as well as a sonic boom type *whoooosh*) and I suddenly remember exactly who he was.

"I do, and I was always bummed that I lost your number. I loved your car."

"I still have it, it's still for sale."

We exchanged numbers again. This time I wrote his number down in like 8 different places. He came back the next day, and we talked some more... and then a few days later... I got super serious about that Commando.

TODAY he drove it over to me at work, and one friend that works at a repair/tire shop just one street over let me bring it by and put it on a lift. THEN a very good friend, whose opinion I value so much, showed up to check things out too... and to top it off, my mechanic, the guy that has worked on my Exploder for YEARS showed up to help me.
There were others around that knew the ins & outs of classic cars... and they offered help, opinions, and useful information too.

At one point, standing under the Commando, I looked out at all these amazing people, who I might add- NOT ONCE treated me like a stupid girl who doesn't know cars, and promised them loudly "you are all SOOO getting fresh baked cookies!"

I had prepared a list of questions for the owner (& asked many of them when it was just the two of us) ... and I felt a silly satisfaction in hearing the other guys there ask those very same (albeit worded differently) questions. I had a few more questions for the owner like "is there a lien on the car?" which elicited audible grunts of approval for such a savvy question from the crew of awesome that was inspecting the car like it was an alien spaceship and this was Area 51.

As the car was brought down in the lift my mechanic, Louis- his name is Louis- had a very stoic look on his face and asked me to step outside with him... I was worried, and made a joke about how we were "going outside to canoodle."

Once outside his face lit up like Whoville when the Grinch brought all the stuff back, and he told me the truth. He told me how much certain things would cost to get fixed; what could go a while w/out fixing; why I was getting a GREAT deal... and that if I didn't want it he knew a guy that would come there immediately and snatch it up. That was enough for me!

Everyone else said the same thing...

Smiling I went to the owner and said, as calmly as I could, "I want this car."

We went back to my shop, sat down & talked about it... then I took it for a wee spin... and I was soooo sold!

This evening we spoke on the phone as he was feeding his daughter some dinner... and finalized the deal.

I am so freakin' happy about all this it's ridiculous! There are so many more cool aspects to this story... though I do wonder if they are only cool to me....

but I just wanted to get to the part where I show you MY BRAND NEW (to me) 1969 JEEPSTER COMMANDO!!!!!
...and my goofy ass... in 40˚ weather, with a serious wind... & still in flip flops...just about as happy as a girl could be (which is why I don't really care that it's a totally unflattering picture and I look like a 'tard... I'M HAPPY!!!)

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Now What?

*WARNING!* If you are in no mood to hear someone piss & moan... best quit reading here and go re-read something else along this eventual topic that might be less complain-y. Everyone else...? Please feel free to air your personal grievances as well. Let's let the comments be free group therapy today, shall we?

This morning I woke up in plenty of time to do a bunch of things and still make it to work on time, if not early... the problem? It's my day off.

Why up so early? Well, the housemate kept saying that a friend of his was going to be spending the night, and knowing they would all be out drinking, and that the housemate has ZERO use of an "inside voice" once alcohol has taken control, I wanted to be fast asleep with a few hours headway before they got in.

When I awoke this morning the sky was still fairly dark & my room was freezing. This was one of those mornings that really makes me HATE being single. I do my best to make all I can out of these moments and spread out like a starfish in bed.

I lay there for a good 15 minutes, enjoying the silence, and the warm down comforter. The sheets on my bed had just been washed and I could still smell the slightly floral aroma of the dryer sheet as my head tilted into the pillow. I focused on the house, the sounds of the house. Could I hear a person snoring in the living room? No... the snores were emanating from the housemate's bedroom. Was the beast up and walking around? No. Is it too early to get up and make a cup of tea or coffee if the houseguest is asleep on the sofa? To be honest, I didn't even care about that last one. I was cold and thirsty.

I put on some slippers, pulled a warm hoodie on over my head, and surprise surprise.... no houseguest! Happy surprise really :)

I made some coffee, and because I still can't stand the taste of it on it's own, sprinkled in some cinnamon and squirted a bunch of whipped cream in it. What? It's my @#$%&*^ day off and I KNOW the housemate won't be up for hours (he's a marathon sleeper, especially after a night of boozin' it up with friends ... as opposed to on his own...), why not celebrate? I cooked some bacon too :) (That's right... party fucking central over here early Sunday morning! whooot whooot!)

Next up... check email. Know what I found? Another email from  (Remember the last one?) This one I had COMPLETELY forgotten about. It was written to myself, the afternoon of my birthday this year... and... well... let's just say it was almost evil the things I said to myself.

As usual, and because I really have nothing to lose by being 100% honest about this sort of thing (well, honest about anything really- unless it's your birthday and I have to give a "noooo we're totally not throwing you a surprise party" lie)... here it is:

Dear FutureMe,
It is Wednesday January 12th, 2010- It's your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Well, when you read this you will be 2 months shy of your next birthday (minus a day). Won't it be interesting to see where you are at in your life by now? Please, please, please tell me you are no longer with the person who blew off this trip to Scotland with you. Quit making excuses for him. He knew MONTHS in advance that you wanted to be here for your birthday. Thank fucking god you actually hopped that train and came here on your own.

That you were the one to call HIM on YOUR birthday was sad enough... that you had to remind him it was your birthday was downright depressing.

I know you keep going back in your mind to when you two first met, and how amazing everything was. You can't stop thinking about all the sweet and kind things he did and said... you keep holding out hope that he will be that person again. You need to drop it. He won't. EVER. It was a trick, of the mind & the heart. Yours & his. I guarantee you that he will blow off the trip to Paris as well. Even though the tickets are dirt cheap, and even though you two would have somewhere FREE to stay, he will find a way & a reason to not go. 4 days in Paris.... and he will find an excuse to not go. Mark my words. (And quit being so fucking dumb! Seriously!)

I hope that when you get back to London, after this trip, you really take a good long look at what has happened. I also hope you find the nerve to just end things. Get a ticket home, and go. I know you hate being on the island in the winter. I know it bores you to tears, I know that being single, during the winter, on that island is one of the hardest things to be... but just DO IT! Yes, you will miss him... and you'll probably be dumb enough to allow all the fucked up things he has said to you over the past few months to be pushed into the oblivion of your ridiculous brain, and you will do your best to focus on the good parts... but please stop telling your friends to not hate him. Stop telling people that he's "a good guy, just not my good guy"... because you'll never fucking know. Those times when he did right by you... that is what is going to make you miss him. Those times when you'd lay there on the sofa, or in bed, cracking up or talking about your future together.... yeah, those were great moments, TRULY... but you are (& I am so fucking sure of this!) forgetting all the cruel things he would say, and then try to glaze them over with a smile, or tell you that you don't know how to take a joke. (Ever think maybe he can't tell a proper one?) All those times you cried yourself to sleep... and a few of those times when he woke up because you choked on your own tears trying to be silent, and he fucking yelled at you?! Not cool, not okay. Please don't forget those moments, they will not break you... DO YOU HEAR ME BITCH!? They WILL NOT break you, he will not break you. What he will do is act faux sad if you break up with him, then do jack shit about getting you back. He will never fight for you, NEVER. Do you not know this? How do you not know this? He does not love you. You probably don't love him anymore either, but in this moment, as this is being written... you have tears in your eyes because you can't stop thinking about the person you DID love. He is NOT that person.

I recommend you break up and board a flight that same day back to the states. Did you do that? (Please tell me you did that!) I know you will stay friends with him, because the truth is... you two were awesome as "just friends." You were an ocean apart and flirting was innocent and nothing could happen. (DAMN YOU SKYPE!)

My birthday wish... today... on your/my/our (how the fuck do I write this part?!) birthday is that one year from today, on your birthday... a big birthday no less!... you are free of any and all feelings for the man that treated you horribly and made you feel like shit. If you are still friends with him, so be it. Please just stop missing him.... because unless a miracle occurred between your birthday in 2010 and the date you are reading this... I am pretty sure (okay, totally positive) that you still miss him. Smarten up and realize that you don't miss HIM. You miss having someone there. You deserve to be treated better, kinder. You ARE a good person, you love the fuck out of your friends, and would do anything for them... they know this. He is either clueless... or he is totally taking advantage of it. You two are oil & water.


Notice I am smart enough to send this with a two month (minus a day) head start to try to make my/our/your (wtf?) birthday wish come true? DO SOMETHING! DO IT NOW!... and for fucks sake, when the cute, funny, clever, kind guy flirts with you... quit questioning it... not all guys are faking it... some are excellent. Yes, I realize most of them are married or have girlfriends... but the ones that don't... they are probably sincere... you're just too blinded by cynicism to notice these days. How the fuck did this current man (who, as you read this is hopefully NOT "current") break down those walls? We know who & what made you build them in the first place... maybe you should revisit THAT person and see what you can figure out? Good luck with that.

PS. Don't bartend this summer, you'll grow to hate it.


And THAT ladies & gentlemen is what I had to say to myself in January of this year.


Sometimes it feels like shit to be right.