Monday, January 25, 2010

Taste The Rainbow

 This past weekend I was in Schenectady NY with Colin, Christian, and Isaiah for (Colin's sister) Claire's wedding. (To her now hubby, Rob)

(Christian, Colin, & Isaiah)
Night one was the rehearsal dinner, and there was an open bar with the meal (Hooray!) and I filled up on entirely too much Pinot Noir. Mmmmm!

(This is the Van Dyck in Schenectady where the rehearsal and dinner took place... the interior, specifically the ceiling upstairs, is amazing.) 

Afterwards we all went back to the Inn we were staying at down the street. (Same owners apparently) and went to go hang at the bar there for a bit.

(The downstairs lounge was super comfy and welcoming)

Alas... they closed up shop at midnight... so we went up to a friend's (Taryn) room and did shots of Vodka & Red Bull (BLECH!).

The following morning (okay, okay... AFTERNOON) we all got up, hit a local diner with Colin's Mom (Deirdre), plus his Aunt Eileen, and Uncle Terry for some breakfast (I got the "greek omelet" 'cause it has the BEST ingredients... you can't go wrong with spinach, tomato, & feta. Mmmmm!) Then it was time to start trying to not look like we were up till 3am the night before and get ready for the wedding.

I pulled out my purple dress that I scored for a steal. (Seriously, a $450 dress for $98? THAT is one hell of a bargain! - even if it was a size too big... damn you tiny boobs!)... and my new green shoes that I am totally enamored with. Granted they make me 6'3 when I wear them... but I'll be damned if they aren't awesome! For real, total strangers were taking freakin' pictures of them. I'm not even kidding! I found it pretty funny.
(BTW, that's me & Christian in the picture... and he's standing on tippy toe, and my knees are bent... so, as you can see, I am NOT exaggerating about how much taller those shoes made me)
By 5pm we were all gathered downstairs for the wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony. Colin read a poem for them... and when he got to the last line I kept my promise and flashed him the universal "rock on" sign. Though the ceremony, and especially the bride, was so elegant and sweet...  I kept it down low.  :)
This is the room the wedding was held in... beautiful isn't it?

After the ceremony we all migrated about 15' to the room where the wedding dinner was taking place.... and then crammed ourselves into the bar area where there were yummy snacks and free drinks.

I went to go ask for a glass of Maker's Mark on ice...but... :( they didn't have any.....

What they did have (bless their awesome lil' hearts) was, in lieu of peanuts or pretzels on the bar,................

That's right, big honkin' huge bowls of Skittles®!!! Freakin' genius! So, in my sugar induced glee I went ahead and got myself a tumbler full of Jim Beam.

I'm not normally a fan of the stuff, but the sugary yumminess that the Skittles® created took that nasty end of the sip bite off it. After a few sips with a Skittles® chaser I came up with what might possibly be the tastiest drink ever... like in the whole history of ever! (Or at least it was that night.)

I grabbed myself a handful of Skittles® and started ploppin' them right into the glass. I started off just putting in the same color... but after a while (read: two more glasses)  I ceased to attempt to separate them. I'd just scoop 'um up & plop 'um in.

I think I made it through about eight glasses before the reception was over. Yet, I still had the good sense to run up to the room I was sharing with Colin and take off the awesome green shoes and change into jeans and a hoodie. (I will eternally be thankful I did that. It was like out that night and we all took quite the hike to a local bar about 10 blocks away.)

I had sent a text message to Taryn (a friend I met when Claire (the bride) had come to visit on the island about a year back) to let her know where we were. Taryn showed up with a cute guy in tow... AND (I fucking love this part!) a chicken mask in her purse. Obviously we had to put the chicken mask on him for the picture....

I was going to continue with my amazing creation... but the bar we were at didn't have Skittles® (WTF?! Clearly Skittles® should be standard bar snacks!)... so I switched to Heineken®. Mind you,
I don't love Heineken®...but I have learned over the years that even in the loudest, most crowded, bar a bartender will rarely, if ever, misunderstand you or ask you to repeat yourself... plus the green bottle serves a good purpose. (Only my very closest friends know about that one, so just trust me, it's a very good thing.)

I must admit, I was kinda bummed that I couldn't keep drinking the Jim Beam® & Skittles® concoction, but it was fun trying to come up with a name for it. Still have yet to decide on a good one. However... when asked why I stopped separating the colors and just threw in any ol' color into the glass I did get to tell people that it was because I wanted to "taste the rainbow."

The rest of that night will have to be filed under the clause known now as "What Happens In Schenectady, Stays In Schenectady"..... no joke. (Just for the sake of some of your twisted minds, and Colin's & my sanity... the whole "What Happens In Schenectady, Stays In Schenectady" has nothing to do with me and him, in any capacity. ok? ok.)
Hell of a fun weekend though.. even the ride home was fun. That was mostly due to the two in the front seat cracking me up, and the GPS that had a knack for making us drive in circles while nagging ....
Not. Even. Kidding.)
BUT... the best part, the VERY BEST PART... was watching two people, that make each other and everyone else around them endlessly happy, get married.

Congrats Claire & Rob!

Friday, January 8, 2010

Not Alone

The following is a small group of thoughts that have run through my head, quotes from others, and observations, etc... all regarding the same topic... none of which will solve the problem, all of which allows one to know you are not alone, you are not the only one that has felt this way. There are others that understand your distress.

If we must part forever,
Give me but one kind word to think upon,
And please myself with, while my heart’s breaking.”
~Thomas Otway

I was born the day I met you, lived a while when you loved me, died a little when we broke apart.

Trying to forget someone you love is like trying to remember someone you never knew. (this might be the truest thing I have EVER read/heard)

Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, but you meant nothing to him.

part of a 'never to be sent' letter: It all happened so backwards. When I met you I was afraid to kiss you, thinking you'd evaporate into the dream I was living. When I kissed you I was afraid to keep loving you... afraid I would lose you. When I loved you with all my being, I lost you. Now I am afraid to ever love again. I am not going to hide the truth from you, I never have, I never will. I loved you harder and stronger than any person I've ever known, and the pain of knowing it was totally worthless and unwanted was unbearable ... and it still is, but here is where I say goodbye.

THAT, ladies and gentlemen, is heartbreak in a nutshell.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Top 10 List For MY New Year

It's a new year, right?... well... technically MY new year starts on my birthday (I don't hold the rights to this idea, so anyone's year can start on their birthday.)  Lucky me (I think), my birthday is next week (January 12th). So... if there are actual "new years resolutions" that I want to make, or attempted to make before midnight Dec. 31st 2009... and have yet to follow through on even thinking about them... I think I'm getting a second chance now. (You like how I just justified the piss outta blowing off the original resolutions? nice eh? )

The plan is not to come up with outlandish ones that I am doomed to fail at, but attainable ones that just need a bit of will power & motivation. So... seeing as how I hate the idea of lying, or looking like a chump... I figured if I posted them here that maybe I might find myself feeling a bit more accountable.

Lets start with the easy (and by "easy" I just mean "obvious") ones first. 'Cause I am well aware that were I to list off something like "1.) have a crazed night of raging-hot-throw-me-around-the-room-sex with Jason Statham" I'm pretty sure I'd be setting myself up for disappointment due to the fact that that'll never happen. (Though just for the record... he is soooo missing out.)

So, the first two to put on the list are the stereotypical ones that just about every human (male and female alike) that has ever made new years resolutions puts on a list:

1) quit smoking
2) lose weight/get in better shape

Now, the the thing to remember with saying "My new years resolution is to quit smoking" is that if you have it in your head that you have to quit January 1st... 99% of ya are fucked. You need to look at it like this: "My resolution for the new year is to quit smoking, so as of January 1st (or whatever day you decide your "new year" begins) I have 365 days to try." Personally, I think the odds are waaaay more in one's favor when looked at in that manner. Another thing to keep in mind is something anyone that has ever tried quitting (either successfully or unsucessfully) will tell you, if you do it for any reason other than for yourself, you are doomed to fail. Sure there might be others that contribute to you wanting to quit... but in the end you have to do it for yourself.

Now the really scary one: lose weight/get in better shape. Obviously the easy way is to say "eat better and less, exercise more." Yeah, that's waaaay easier said than done. Don't you think if it really was that simple that everyone would be doing it? This whole country would be filled with the fittest healthiest people ever; instead, we are like totally the fattest nation.

It's fucking hard to eat healthy for so many. There's a lot to take into consideration. Are you cooking for one? That's pricey and time consuming if you go to the trouble of splitting up foods into individual portions. Are you cooking for others as well? That gets harder... 'cause you know there is always that one person that never wants to eat what you're eating. I remember being a kid and the rule was "if you don't want what your father is having for dinner, make something for yourself." This could be where my love of sandwiches comes from.... though I still say that is due to a midwest upbringing.... but I'm sure it's where my strange palate comes from.

Seriously, I'll eat things that I think taste good, but if I tell someone else about it... they usually make a funny face or an audible "ugh." Example: I like to eat Saltine® crackers with mustard squirted on them (chunks of iceberg lettuce in lieu of Saltines® too.) I have been known to eat SpaghettiOs®... cold, straight out of the can, specifically the ones with tiny "franks" in them. I'm sure there's a ton more, but those are two of the things that stick out in my head as having the funniest reactions from others.

There's also the whole cost thing. Food is freakin' expensive! I don't care if you're buying organic or regular ol' chemically enhanced food. But... I'm sure if someone (i.e. me) is willing to take the time to seek out organic foods, specifically when on sale... and figure out a zillion ways to cook the most inexpensive organic foods... well... yeah, I'm sure I'd make some faster progress. I'm too impatient though. I really DO try to buy all organic things. (Multiple reasons for that, but let's be honest, you know as well as I do that organic IS better for you, no matter what.) I make sure that the things I eat/drink the most are always organic. (Milk, cheese, bread, eggs, butter, certain condiments, the obvious things really...)

Next comes the whole eating it part. I know that "breakfast is the most important meal of the day," but I rarely get hungry till around 2 or 3 in the afternoon... many days not till 5 or 6. Then I'm hungry all night. I make that first healthy meal, then an hour or two later a healthy snack... but I will always end up just saying "fuck it" around 9 or 10pm and eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, or eat half a box of wheat thins/triscuits.... or both.

The thing is, I'm not gaining any weight. BUT, I'm not losing any either. There are odd periods of time in my life where a bunch of weight drops off, and it (knock on wood!) has not come back, but there's still a bunch more I'd like to see go. I'm not all delusional about it. I don't really have a goal of looking emaciated like a supermodel, I like having some curves. Besides, at my height (5'11")... if I was really skinny... someone might mistake me for a tether ball poll... and one day, there I'd be just standing still and a bunch of punk ass kids would come and attach a ball on a string to my neck as they whack the piss out of the ball in circles around (an inevitably into) my head. Yeah, I'm not down with that. Plus I have a really small chest to begin with, and don't you just know it... that's the first place it becomes apparent that I've lost any weight. Though, just to me. Again, at my height, it's totally not noticeable till I drop a minimum of 20lbs... and even then, it's just me and my belt that know the difference.

You know what I really want? A kick ass stationary bike. Hell yeah. I love those things! For real, I do. The ones that actually have a seat back though. Basically a recumbent bike. I'd plop that sucker right in front of the tv and pop in a movie and ride along watching the film. There was a gym in Chicago I'd go to with a friend once in a while and they had bikes set up in front of tvs... and on the days that a movie was playing (as opposed to news or sports) I would ride from beginning to end. People are always suggesting I go hiking... but I hate hiking. I don't mind going for a nice walk with a friend somewhere, but ... I don't know, I just don't love it. BUT, when I used to live in New Orleans I would wander all over the French Quarter with a newspaper or a book.... reading it.  Something about the sidewalks and paths I chose to walk along there made it really easy. Not so much here. Maybe that's what I like about the idea of a bike and a movie. I can do two things I like at once, without losing interest in either of them. Maybe I'll put "buy a recumbent bike" on my list of resolutions? It'll have to be waaaay at the end of the list, 'cause if I'm having a hard enough time affording food, a $600+ piece of gym equipment is not really gonna be something I'll be getting any time soon.

I'm kinda digressing aren't I? I do that (in case you haven't noticed...) a lot. Sorry. Back to the list.... Yeah, I'm gonna try to quit smoking this year, but I'm not putting a timetable on it, and I will be doing my very best to eat healthier and try to not turn into Gollum whenever I get my hands on a pack of Strawberry Twizzlers®.

As for resolutions 3 & 4.... I still like the idea of bringing back "real mail." You know, real letters. Letters that need stamps and don't have ".com" anywhere on them. Letters you can send, with no return address on the outside so that the person receiving it not only has the thrill of getting an actual letter in the mail, but the fun of trying to figure out who it's from. So, #3 is going to be me trying to send real mail to multiple people on a much more regular basis.

Resolution #4 is going to be to write more. I know I write a lot, but I need to write more... MUCH more. Not just letters and goofy blog posts (though, they are like warm up exercises for me... ), but to REALLY keep writing. I mean how am I ever going to finish or reedit any of the stories I've written if I am not putting my all into it? There is one story I recently pulled back out of my files that I have started in on again. I remember when I started writing it and the direction I wanted it to go in... only I have changed my mind sooo many times over the past few years that it has taken a bunch of turns. Currently I think I know where I want it to "go"... so I will be spending a bunch of time on that.

Resolutions 5 & 6 will be quite simple... #5: leave the island more often. It's really that simple. Just try to leave at least once a month. If it's just for the day, so be it. If it's overnight somewhere... even better! If it's for a few days... AWESOME! Anything that could make me hate this island less would be nice.

#6? Easy: Out of all the tattoos I have (don't ask "how many?", 'cause I lose track when I try to count them. Let's just say it's over 10.) there is only one I'm not pleased with. Even my skin rejected it. Seriously, it did! Within a week my skin had rejected some of the color... and that has never happened. Normally I'd just consider covering it with something, but it's in a place on my body where I don't want a super obvious tattoo, and to cover it would create that. So, it looks like I'll be checking out laser removal specialists and trying to see what I can do. It's too bad really, 'cause the person that did it is a friend, and a really great guy... but I just don't love it. (I still have yet to tell him that... and I don't think I ever will)

#'s 7, 8, 9, & 10 (don't worry, I've only got 10...) will be as follows:
7.) read more... (as if I didn't read enough! ha!... but I have been lax as of late.)
8.) invent a heated bra that is powered by something like watch batteries so my nipples don't need to be checked to see if they are still attached during these freezing cold New England winters.
9.) get serious about landscaping the yard at home, front AND back yard.
10.) stay on top of thing, all things... especially bills and things like oil changes for my car... and most importantly tune ups for me.

So, yeah, THAT is my real list of New Years resolutions... and they will begin on MY new year.. January 12th. I'll be in Seattle visiting one of my favorite people on the planet, David. It's the best way to spend my birthday, 'cause they always SUCK here. I'm very happy about the fact I am going to see David, it's been over 20 years since we have stood face to face... I am, in fact, smiling as I type this.