Monday, November 22, 2010

Leave A Message And I'll Call You Back

Earlier last week I opened a bank account here in London, but because of weekends, I still won't have my bank card, or use of the account till the 30th at the earliest. 14+ days I will have waited just so I can open a mobile phone account and get a phone. I must say, for a huge country that is traveled to from all over the world and caters to thousands of foreigners on a daily basis… England appears to be a bit slow on the technology uptake. Apparently I can not just go get a cell phone w/out proof of residency and a credit card issued by a British bank. Yes, I can get a "pay as you go" phone… but what is the point in that if what I mainly need the phone for is internet access……. which is another thing that is evidently impossible to get quickly. (I also need/want the phone plan that gives me good international rates… I've found that with "O2"… now I just need the phone)

Hell, I called the cable company back home and had WiFi w/in the hour. All I had to do was drive over to one of their locations and pick up the little box that connects to the cable box, plug it in, and connect it myself. (Not rocket science) Easy peasy. Here it takes a minimum of 1 month just to get the phone company to come pay a visit and see if your lines are usable if you don't currently have a land line. (No idea how the cable thing works, but according to the few I've talked to, it is equally as frustrating) These are a few more of the things that confound as far as differences between here and home go.

I don't mean to come across as bashing England/London- I love it here, but some of the "differences" totally boggle my mind.

Though…my real thought today is this: Does anyone have a land line anymore? Anywhere? (Other than businesses) I think I might go old school when I get back to the states and only give my cell phone # out to like 10 people. (I've already got the list, trust me.) I will then be using my awesome phone that a family friend gave me a few years ago. It's an actual working phone from the early 1900's that currently sits in my living room as a cherished bit of decoration. Everyone else can bust out their big huge phone books and look my ass up. Imagine that? No more being interrupted at inopportune moments while out of the house; no more fumbling in my purse to try to turn a ringer off; no more apologetic smiles when my ex calls me and I'm in a public place. (I set his ring-tone as this (NSFW btw) so that I could laugh when he called and then not answer it because I was enjoying the sentiment so much) No more walking, arm extended, searching for a bar of service just to return a phone call to someone that really didn't need to reach me for anything other to chat. ('Cause the middle of a work day is always just perfect for that eh?) I can finally use my old answering machine again. Arrive home and see the red flashing button, hit "play" and listen to messages as I go about my business. Just think, there'd be no more moments of wondering why all of our years of education have flown out the window thanks to text messages. I fully understand when someone is in a hurry, or trying to get an entire text message to fit in one text ('cause not everyone has "unlimited texts" as part of their service plan) and types "2moro" (tomorrow) or "U" (you) or even the ones I hate "R U" (are you), "U R" (you are), and "ur" (your/you're)… but people have GOT to know how stupid it looks. There is nothing smart about it. Texting a message like "R U gon 2B @ ur plc 2nite?" ("are you going to be at your place tonight?") just makes you look like a semi illiterate, poorly educated, imbecile. Sorry, but it's true.

I know I get made fun of for using things like semicolons in text messages, but my Mother was an English teacher. You know how they say Mothers have eyes on the backs of their heads? Well they say the same about teachers (who ever "they" are). I got a double whammy.  Unless I am purposely/ironically writing poorly, I am convinced she KNOWS. She's like an omniscient General of the grammar police. I get teased for being a "grammar nazi" by friends ("head of the gestypo" I tell them when they say it), but outside of human error, common typos (which I am TOTALLY guilty of on a regular basis), and modern day slang/accepted vernacular, I really do cringe at the inability of so many people to differentiate between words like you're, your, there, they're, their et al. Again, I get it when it's an error due to typing too quickly, or the dreaded "predictive text" that so many use on their phones… which I am convinced makes people dumber…. but there is no reason, AT ALL to not at least learn the differences! (I personally HATE that some of the programs on my computer instantly change words I type into something I didn't intend to type AT ALL, or add unnecessary apostrophes. My two favorites are when I type my friend Leandra's name, or her sister Seniel's name… and get "Leonard" & "senile.")

The other one that get's me?….. "alot/allot" … IT'S TWO WORDS PEOPLE…2… TWO WORDS!!!  A LOT. Think about what you are saying. Picture a large parking lot full of something, maybe cupcakes? Now you would say it is "a lot of cupcakes"… get it?You're welcome.

Okay I'm done complaining. I think I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today, and since the BF's bed is currently up against a wall, this means I either woke up and slammed into the wall, or fell out of bed. I'll let you decide which is worse…… then I'll tell you…. I did both. :/ (for real.)


  1. I wanted to write that the worst scenario would be if you did both and then I saw that you actually did. Sorry, but it's really funny :)

  2. It's a phrase I've said for most of my life... "it's funny 'cause it's true." :)