The Ongoing Saga Of The Unrestful Bedroom

The saga of my messy bedroom continues. I think I just need to rearrange the room... problem is, I'm pretty sure I've explored like every option out there. Next thing you know I'll be trying to put a hole in an exterior wall and making space that way. It's a REALLY good job I don't know the first thing about doing that... yet...BUT there's always google!
However, that said, I doubt google has the answer I'm looking for today. I know, 'cause I tried that already... what? I did. I asked google to fix my crappy bedroom and got links to cell phone related issues.....

see?!

 Anyone wanna try their hand at interior design? Specifically my bedroom....

Look, here is the only kinda nice picture (albeit a partial view) I have of my bedroom, from back when it was super tidy and arranged differently:

 And then there's the one that starts to show the insane clutter a week or so back (mind you I threw all that stuff on the bed so that I could go through it all, and THAT has since been put away)....

So, in lieu of trying to take a bunch of potentially even more embarrassing pictures... I just made a lil' scaled down (though I'm 100% sure the scale of it is a bit off, if anything I'm probably being slightly generous with the proportions... it is a TINY bedroom. This is the best I could do today:

this would be the basic layout of my bedroom (& I totally f'd up and added a second phone jack where there is actually an outlet (lower right corner)... whatever...)

THIS is how the furniture is currently arranged:

I left out a lot of the little things like lamps and rugs, but you get the idea, right?

This would be one of the options, similar to that first photograph I posted at the top:

and this would just be a slightly different (but pretty much the same) option:

That last one just means I have to try to find a new place (outside of the room) for my steamer trunk. I kinda love having it around though. Not only great for storage of off season things.. but it was my Grandpa's. It even went to war with him. I love that trunk ♥
Just so we are clear here... the reality of my bedroom is currently more like this:

NOT. EVEN. KIDDING. In fact I think I might have left out about 80 kazillion things....

Does anyone have any good ideas? The only thing I just KNOW I would not be comfortable doing is placing my bed against the wall where the closet is, you know, so that it's facing out the door. That's super duper bad luck right there. It's the death position. People who are sick and dying get put in bed like that so that when they croak it's easier to get them out of the room... gross eh? Plus it's waaay un-feng shui.
Mind you I never gave a damn about that sort of thing... till I made the mistake of reading all about it one day back in college. (*grumble*stupid rainy days!*grumble*) Now I am annoyingly, and acutely aware of all the things I may be doing wrong in a room, decor wise, and it makes me a bit kooky.

Any and all suggestions are welcome. While there may be a chance I've already tried it/thought about it... that doesn't mean it shouldn't be revisited again, you know?

I do really like the idea of being able to get into bed from either side, even though I, like 99.9% of humans tend to have a "favorite" side and stick to it. Plus the armoire holds the majority of my clothes, so... big a beast as it may be, I kinda need it for now. In a perfect world I'd have a gorgeous bed with LOADS of storage under it... though, oddly THAT is considered a bad idea by these feng shui jerks too. Apparently NOTHING is supposed to be under your bed.
I'm down with the idea of no monsters there, but what about all my crap that I can't part with yet?! ... and I'm kinda liking the idea that my army of dust bunnies are protecting it all, at least that's what I tell myself.


HELP!