Saturday, December 11, 2010

An American Girlfriend In London, Pt 5: Excuse You

 I can not even begin to tell you how many times I have witnessed this over the past month, and it truly shocks me: NO ONE IN LONDON CLOSES DOORS.

It's freezing here, and the heat is on in all establishments, but no one seems to bother to close the door after they enter or exit, EVER. In just the past 20 minutes I have witnessed the door to the back terrace at the cafe where I sit be opened by 10 different people, not one of them closed it behind them. Do they think that because they are brave enough to sit outside in the cold that all the people inside must get the chills too?

I am more than a little obsessed with keeping doors shut due to my very drafty house back home in the states... plus the drafty house here in London where I am living needs doors to stay shut or the rooms will never get warm. I've witnessed this all over the city; in restaurants, shops, and even other people's homes. Seriously though, what is with people? Is it that hard to close a door? You opened it to get in/out... then eventually one of the staff here, or maybe me, closed it when your inconsiderate ass left it open... why not try being polite? Close the fucking door!

Don't get me wrong, many (like most) Americans are rude as fuck... and they seem to be even worse in the summer... like if they leave enough doors & windows open they'll manage to cool down the air outside. Dear Idiots- YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!

I've also been noticing that people rarely say "pardon me" or "excuse me" when they bump into you.... moreover when they bump into me. The other day I actually stopped to look in a store window to check my reflection to see if maybe I had a sign somewhere on me reading "please pretend I'm a bumper car"... nope, wasn't there. Or was it? Maybe I just can't see it? I'm one inch shy of 6' tall, with bright fuchsia streaks in my hair... I'm not what one would call "easy to miss"... maybe that's the problem? I'm so in their face that they have no choice but to bump into me? I'm gonna go with that one, it almost makes sense... almost.

I'm really in no mood to be writing a post right now... and in the 5 minutes since I started, the door to this back terrace has been opened by 6 different people, none of them shutting it behind them. It was always one of the busy staff running from the front of the cafe to close it. WTF?

At least I've been smart enough to always sit in the far back corner so no one even has the option to bump into me... and I can just watch their inconsiderate asses waste some more heat/money. Guess people figure if they aren't paying for it... they're not paying for it. I'm sure this happens everywhere... but I'm not everywhere... I'm here.


  1. i wish i was in london, lol and thanks for the comment...yes that is a great way of saying i'm a douche bag!

  2. (bet he doesn't close doors either...)

  3. I'm so totally jealous that you're in London for an extended stay :-/ AND that you've got yourself a man with an accent. Swoon!

  4. know what's funny? I don't even hear the accent. For real, I have to hear certain words that are pronounced vastly different than in the US before my brain says "oh, right, he's English."
    Though... I am a fan of the "Russian Thug" accent he busts out with every now & again...he's spot on with that one :)

  5. Lol well maybe you're just used to it by now. I would be in HEAVEN listening to all those refined accents! :-D

    What do they think of American accents? I've heard some English people say that they're sexy and I've heard some people say they're harsh.

  6. As for the BF's accent... he CAN sound über posh when needed, but the he's cockney... which I happen to appreciate much more than the snooty posh accent of the well-to-do. He even throws in cockney rhyming slang when speaking to friends which is super funny to me.

    Oh.. and the majority of people in Europe pretty much hate Americans, and they make no bones about letting us know that. Our "accents" are horrible to them. Ask an English person to imitate an American and 9 times out of 10 you'll get a nasally voice that sounds like it's coming from a person named Goober. (not even kidding in the slightest.)