Thursday, February 10, 2011

An American Girlfriend In London, Pt 13: Just Because I Can

Last Friday (February 4th) I left London to head back to the US. The BF & I had a wee heart to heart around 5:30am that day and I expressed just how unfair I thought it would be for either of us to carry on in a committed relationship since we just didn't seem to have our hearts in it any longer. Don't get me wrong, I have much love for him, and I know he has love for me... but we are not IN love with each other, not right now. Throw in the fact that he lives in London, I live in America & we have no clue when we will next see each other.... it just seemed like the right thing to do... so I did it. It sucked, there were tears, and if I think about it for longer than a few minutes there will be tears again. I really do miss him. I miss my friend, I miss the laughter, I miss the silly conversations, the cuddles, & the...well...the sex (what? I'm human you know!) I miss a lot of things really ... *sigh*... BUT I am not going to keep talking about it, in fact I am going to tell you what I missed before I left, and what I have been filling my time with since getting home about 5pm last Friday......

I have missed, looked forward to, and am currently taking advantage of (in no specific order):

  • using my large capacity washing machine that fully cleans massive amounts of dirty laundry
  • my dryer that drys everything without walking 8 city blocks and pumping £1 for every 15 minutes of drying time
  • doing full loads of laundry (wash AND dry) in under 1 1/2 hours
  • Strawberry Twizzlers® in just about every store (!!!!)
  • "Robot Chicken" on late night TV
  • buying big thick organic steaks at the local grocery store... that will be cooked to a perfect medium rare
  • my cell phone and it's wonderful full QWERTY keypad (as opposed to the "pay as you go" crap one I had in London)
  • the awesome water pressure in my shower where I can wash my hair w/out banging my elbows on the shower walls
  • WiFi that doesn't kick me off line every 20 minutes or so
  • cheeseburgers
  • Fresca® (I don't normally drink soda unless I need caffeine or have an upset stomach, but Fresca® is my true guilty pleasure (soda wise), even though it's calorie free)
  • Getting into the car on the left side and finding a steering wheel in front of me
  • my car, POS that it may be, I missed it
  • being able to hop into the aforementioned POS car and randomly show up at my BFF's place for a cup of tea and hours of silly conversation
  • the ability to purchase things without having to do the conversion math (£ to $) in my head to try to figure out how much more expensive something is
  • make enough ice cubes to fill one of the drawers in my freezer... then make some more
  • sleep for two days straight on my soft, clean, comfy, fresh, high thread count sheets & thick down comforter, with multiple pillows to choose from, in my warm girly bed
  • watch the rest of this past seasons "Dexter" 
  • spend an entire week of evenings watching "On Demand" movies while eating strips of red pepper dipped in blue cheese dressing
  • clean out the junk in my house
  • wear shoes other than my chuck taylors, and the ones with more than a 1/2" heel
  • have more than 6 outfits to chose from
  • spend an afternoon curled up by the real fire in the wood burning stove with the dog  
  • lay in bed reading books till I am ready to fall asleep
Yes... that is my short list of things I am doing, plan to do, and will be overjoyed doing  JUST.  BECAUSE.  I.  CAN. Many things to do... and I started with revamping the blog, gave it a wee makeover. (You like?) 

All that said, I do miss the BF an awful lot (I guess I must refer to him as the EXBF now, eh? :( and I hope that he manages to come out here this spring before my job at the bar starts up again ... because no matter what, and most importantly, he is my friend, and for THAT I love him. ... and when we're good we're REALLY good. Like totally on point and nothin' can stop us... but we hadn't been on point for a while and our relationship suffered. Breaking up seemed like the right thing to do, yet (& possibly ironically) I feel like I am suffering without him now too.
Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go make some more ice since I am currently chewing on my third full glass of ice and loving every second of it (it really is bizarrely my favorite snack)... and put the 4th load of laundry in the dryer. I'm about ready to go ransack my housemate's bedroom and do his laundry I am enjoying this so much. I am, however, smart enough not to mention this to him because it would probably soon suck all the fun out of it for me. He's got more dirty laundry than I could accumulate in 2 months time of multiple daily wardrobe changes.... but that's a whole other blog post. 


  1. FRESCA is amazing.

    I'm practically a diet soda addict, and I have to say, FRESCA is the only one that I still feel good after drinking.

    Good call.

    Oh, and cheeseburgers are pretty sweet too.

  2. *hug*
    I'm a bit sad for you but I somehow saw it coming since you weren't as excited to be in London with him as you could be...

    But on the other hand I'm really happy for you that you're enjoying in everything you missed while you were in London. Knock yourself out girl :)

  3. I suppose you could change the blog title to something like, "A Single Chick livin' in the States"? It sounds like being back home has you(to quote some Brits)well busy.

    Rock on with your bad self,

  4. Kev D- Fresca IS pretty great, as are cheeseburgers, but I gotta ease up on that sort of thing. I think I'm getting too old to eat food like that now :( My taste buds want to propose marriage to me, but the rest of my body, within a few hours, if not sooner) want to throw me before a firing squad... and I don't mean a group of people working for Trump.

    Starlight- Thank you, but don't be sad for me. As stated (because I meant it) he & I both still care very deeply for each other, but we are also smart enough to know when to do the right thing for each other and ourselves. Still a bummer, but whatchagonna do?

    Bea- "A Single Chick Livin' In The States" is probably what my blog should/would have been called to begin with, but my inner nerd chose a quote from Darwin's "Origin Of Species" instead. (My nerdiness is far from closeted...)

  5. That sucks that it didn't work out but it's great that you still care about one another and can remain friends after. Way better than cat fighting and talking shit about the ex :-)

    Welcome back to the states and warm showers lady!

  6. CakeBetch- thank you. It's actually nice to be home... and it's been YEARS since that statement has been made by me, so I guess maybe I got more out of the UK than realized? It made me miss the place that normally makes me batshit crazy. Guess that's not too good a plug for England though, eh?;p

  7. That really does SUCK!!! Hope you feel better soon and it is great you will still be friends :).

  8. 1. Welcome back stateside!
    2. Hang in there! I'm sorry to hear you and your bf broke up. The good thing is you're still friends. :-)
    3. I'm loving the new layout.
    4. I don't know how any woman goes without wearing heels (1/2"+) for a prolonged period of time. I definitely wear 2-3" at least once or twice a week...

  9. Miss TSA- I'm 5'11, heels are really a necessary thing for me (though I do like them), but the exBF is 5' it really wouldn't have felt good to have them on. I'm sure he'd say otherwise, but as someone who is sick to death of random strangers thinking they are being nice/clever by informing me that I am "really tall!" and making me feel like a ogre in the process 99% of the time... I stuck to flats.