Sunday, May 8, 2011

One Week

It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said I'm angry
Five days since you laughed at me saying
Get that together come back and see me

1 week, 3 deaths of friends (1 car accident, 1 suicide, and 1 suspected accidental suicide via overdose) plus news of another friend being told they had approx 18 months to live, tops.

 Hello shitastic week, I was wondering when you'd arrive. 2011 was going just too nicely wasn't it? Dick.

Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault but couldn't tell you
Yesterday, you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days till I say I'm sorry

There is a part of me that feels I need to apologize for being a horrible blogger as of late- be it posts, comments, or just reading yours... but... life happens even when you're not lookin'... and these past two or so weeks have truly proved that.

Hold it now and watch the hood wink
As I make you stop think
You'll think you're looking at aqua man
I summon fish to the dish although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the Sushi 'cause it's never touched a frying pan

Following all that was the funeral of one of those friends, and a visit of another friend (so he could attend the funeral as well) who I had not seen in over 20 years... a friend who the last time I saw him was walking on his own.

Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like Leann Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinkin' achin' shake

Now after a horrifying car accident... a car accident which no one, including him, knows the true circumstances of outside of the facts that he was not on drugs, or drunk, and no true investigation was ever done into the fact that it was probably a hit and run... he was eventually left with 3/4 of one leg, and currently unable to use his other leg till the extensive nerve damage in that one heals.

I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavors
Gotta see the show 'cause then you'll know
The vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver

While he was here I personally got to witness some of the most outstanding fortitude a human could possibly possess while spending the week with him.... and it all started on the ferry boat ride back to the island after I borrowed a friend's car on the mainland to get him back here from Logan Airport in Boston. (About 70 miles from the ferry boat)

The ferry had docked, we took the elevator down to the cargo hold (where all the cars on the ferry boat are kept for the 45 min. ride to the island) and as he exited, backwards- since the elevator is too small for someone in a wheelchair to turn around- his wheelchair flipped up and backwards which flung him onto his back which made it so he smacked his head against the steel wall of the ferry boat. (TOTALLY the boat's fault, not his.)

I can tell you all right now that I know what my heart tastes like, because it rose up and out of my chest like a jesus lizard on 89 Red Bulls®

The taste is no better going back down....

Seconds later the cars that were in view of what happened stopped and drivers leapt out to run over to help. (It was a brief moment of faith in humanity, that's for sure)... moments passed and some employees of the SSA came to our aid. I checked his head to see if there was blood (none, thankfully) and eventually he was able to prop himself up against the steel wall in front of that horrible (& totally shit built) elevator. They asked him if he wanted to have an ambulance called. He initially said no... but... and I shit you not.... there was suddenly a flash mob of EMTs.

I was almost kinda shocked that they didn't break into a dance routine to be honest. They arrived SO quickly... but then again, the town ambulance is directly across the street from where the ferry docks... still, super fast response.

Eventually they took him to the ER... and our first 7 1/2 hours on the island together were spent at MVH in the ER. I'll tell you that with the exception of two amazing nurses (Amanda and Lisa) that night... the MVH is shit and you should NEVER go there, for any reason outside of using the bathroom or trying to snag a bunch of purple plastic gloves (which I TOTALLY took, thankyouverymuch) along with odd gadgets you can't say no to like a suction catheter ... yeah, snagged one of those too... just 'cause it made us laugh.

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean? Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt

He took this pic with his fancy Droid phone and posted it on facebook... I left the comment: "how is it that the bags under MY eyes are darker & deeper than yours? I'm not the one that got rushed to the ER! Maybe they got it wrong? Can I have some meds?" (Can I just add here that I oddly enough find this to be a fairly cute picture of us? 'Cause it totally is!) 
We managed to somehow crack ourselves up most of the night, and finally around 2:30am he was released from the ER and we went home to my Mother's house where we planned to stay. My house would have been beyond impossible for him to get into. At my Mother's he still had to crab crawl up the porch steps, and then I got all MacGyver and created an insta-ramp with some spare wood from the garage.. but once inside we were golden. Master bedroom on main floor as well as bathrooms with jacuzzi tubs (which he LOVED). We finally ate some food, got ready for bed, and 2 hours later woke up to take a ferry again back to the mainland for our friend's funeral. I wore A LOT of black eye make least I think I did. I couldn't tell. I just know it looked like I had gone slightly goth thanks to the dark circles and bags under my eyes.

Chickity China of the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the smoking man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like snickers guaranteed to satisfy

I realize this next sentence is going to sound VERY weird, but I'm just going to say it: we had a really nice time at the funeral. We got to meet a lot of our friend Lauren's family (really wonderful people) and see some friends we had not seen in YEARS, one of them (for me at least) since 1989... and afterwards were invited by Lauren's family to a lunch at a local restaurant where they (Lauren's family)  moved the entire gathering to the first floor when they realized there was no access for Dave's wheelchair on the 2nd floor where the gathering was originally being held, and I think they also realized that the 6 of us who knew Lauren from school were not parting with each other, for any reason that afternoon.

How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will

Though... they might have wanted to change their minds when they saw how we housed the salad... at least I did.....
yes, I knew he was taking the picture, I don't normally eat like that, I swear!

Lauren's family was constantly rotating and coming to sit with us, and talk to us. It all felt, well... loving. Yeah, that's the best possible word to use. Do you know what I mean? Sure there were tears, and very sad moments, it was a funeral for cryin' out loud (did that too), but there were smiles and laughter... and people that just genuinely enjoyed being with each other. How sad that it can take a funeral to make people realize that sort of thing.

Do you ever have those experiences? A group (or groups) of people that might normally never really associate with each other due to day to day obviousness who find out they have more in common with each other than they do differences? Kinda beautiful really.

So much more happened over the course of the following 7 days... but that's another blog post, for another day...


  1. Wow, I'm so sorry for all the loses you've experienced recently. I was also at a funeral this week, and I totally get what you're saying. I hope things start looking up.

  2. I feel so sorry for all your loses. I'm sure the rest of the 2011 will be awesome... *hug*

    (don't forget, I'm here for you if you need anything... you have my email...)

  3. Ohh good lord. I am so sorry. That's about all I can say and I know that it doesn't help even a little. :(

  4. I can't even think of the words to express what I'm feeling for you. I'm keeping you in my prayers.

  5. Wow, that's a whole lot of craziness. I can identify cause I've been having a pretty shitty month, but not quite THAT shitty. I'm glad your friend wasn't hurt, but that sucks you had to spend it in the ER.

    Last year we went to Justin's Grandpa's funeral and it was nice too. It felt weird being happy at his funeral but it was nice to meet the family and get to talk with everyone that you don't see very often.

  6. C'mer--no closer--Now hug--Tighter_ ahhh that feels good.

    Sorry to take advantage of ya that way--but it's been such a shitty month I didn't figure a fake hug feel would matter much!!!

    Hope ya smiled.

    You must be a phenomenal friend!!!

    Hugs--FOR REAL--well--Cyber real,


  7. Thank you all for the kind comments.
    I'm not dumb enough to say "it can't get any worse" (I think one will jinx things by saying that), but I'd like to believe the shitastic part of 2011 is over... at least for the first half of the year.
    I have a smile on my face, and laughter in my heart... 'cause the alternative is ridiculously unappealing. ♥

  8. Sorry for the loss, but you're right it's strange how situations like that tend to bring people together who normailly wouldn't mesh! BTW I love the hair and the pics are awesome! *hugs*

  9. Ugh! I just read this post, and all I can say is that I hope that all is less "shitastic" now then it was then.