Sunday, September 18, 2011

(Not Exactly 50) First Dates: Date One

I'm trying. I'm REALLY trying. I swear..... but I just can't seem to find someone that I have that same *insta-click* with like I did with the ex.
I realize it's a bit harder seeing as how I live on this island, and almost anyone here that is single is pretty much single for a reason. Then, of course, there are those that are single whom I consider good friends and the idea of dating them is just ridiculous because of that.
So, I've caved in & tried the internet thing again.

 A few months back, at the start of the summer, I had met someone kind of interesting. We exchanged a few messages, eventually our cell phone #s, and after about a week made plans to get together.

I will say upfront that he was indeed very nice, polite, smart, and tall... but the fact that he was so excited to come out to the island for the day kinda put me off.

Maybe I'm wrong, but when meeting up with someone for a first date, someone you might have the potential of forming a relationship with... you probably should try to STFU about the fact that you are so excited you can scratch "visit Martha's Vineyard" off your list of things to do.

I felt like a freakin' tour guide for the majority of the day. He arrived on the island around lunch time, and didn't leave till the sun was setting. I think I managed to show him every town on the island, every spot most tourists want to see, and put at least 150 miles on my car that day.

Sure, he was nice. Yes, we had some fun conversation... but there was something in the back of my mind just naggin' at me to get the day over with. Might have started when he told me that women seem to love his accent. Yeah, you guessed it... millions of men out there and the first one I agree to a date with is from England. At least, as a scouser, he had a different accent from the ex. I kinda didn't even notice his accent till he found ways to mention the fact that he had one, repeatedly. Sorta like I'd suddenly say "OMG! You have the sexiest voice!" (He didn't.)
Oh, and the other thing was when we were chatting about what it was we wanted in relationships (sounds more heavy than it was, the conversation was very lighthearted), I told him about the time my friend Doug proclaimed: "Thing is...YOU don't date spheres... you need someone with an edge." Know what ScouserMan said? "Oh, but I have an edge!" ... Dude, the fact that you just had to let me know that you have an edge kinda means you don't... sorry.

Right before he left the island that evening he told me he had a really nice time with me and would love to get together again. I smiled and said "that would be nice", knowing full well I'd probably never do it.  He txt'd a few times, I replied a few times, it was all rather pointless.

About a month or so after the date I get this text message from him and it read:

Wow... seriously? I wasn't really sure how to take that. We went on that first date back at the end of June..."About 20 other dates"? 20 other dates in less than 5 weeks? 2 of which I knew he was away on business, and the fact that he only had Saturdays and Sundays free?  Sorry, but homeboy has GOT to be lying. Well Casanova...  thanks but no thanks. I appreciated the sideways compliment, and more or less said as much... but I'm all set there. NEXT!

*Stay tuned for the date known as "Mr. Perfect For Me" 'cept for one minor major detail...


  1. I love...LOVE bad date stories. Sorry it had to happen to you, but thank you, because that was funny. 20 dates in a month!?! Dude's not even trying to make a plausible lie. "Yeah, so, hey, I've been raw dogging homeless girls instead of giving them food just to make them feel wanted, but every dirty, box-wine-stained overalls I peel off, just makes me think of you." Would have been more believable than dude having 20 dates in a month. George Lucas couldn't digitally change that guy's life to allow for 20 dates. Who has time for that!?! I can't take 20 showers in a month...I've said too much.

  2. Pickelope- Yeah, it was kinda like "of the 20+ women I've slept with in the past month, you were totally the best, wanna do it again?" Clearly not as extreme... but the same "eweee!" feeling nonetheless.
    I fully get it when the heat of the moment makes it hard to think before you speak... but c'mon... via text message? I just found it pathetic. Too bad really, 'cause I was on the verge of givin' him another chance... right up until that text message.
    All that said... wait'll you hear about the next guy!!

  3. You should have written back "20 dates, it sucks to be you if you didn't like anybody."
    He probably wrote that to all 20 dates, hoping one will respond.

  4. Connieemeraldeyes- if I believed he had actually been on 20 dates, maybe I would have... but I think he was trying to pay me a compliment and just @#$%^& it up royally. We DID have fun when we were on that date... but it felt more like I was hanging out with like a friend's amiable cousin that I was asked to play host to while they were at work or somethin'. :/

  5. I believe in love and I'm sure you'll find the right person when the time will be right. Don't give up hun :*

  6. What a total SFAR (single for a reason)! And, if someone with an MV-boner wants you to take him 'round the island, then you'd better be pimpin' that 'world's hottest...' hat!

  7. Dating horror stories are always fun to read. Sorry it didn't work out but sounds like thats for the best. he seems like a turd!

  8. I'm so loving reading this at YOUR EXPENSE and not mine!

    But then--YOU have an edge!!! LOL