Ode To Google

I love the internet as much as the next person... it’s endlessly entertaining and informative. I mean Google alone is like having the smartest person on the planet right there in the room with you. It's just filled with the most random, irrelevant facts & products. I can’t even tell you how many times I have used Google in lieu of a dictionary (or because the online dictionary didn’t know what I wanted to spell)...

Google: "did you mean ****?"

Me: "why yes Google, that is what I meant! Thank you!!"

Sometimes though, I will get on line for a specific reason. Possibly to look something up that I read about and want to know more, or maybe a product I wanted to research ... but instead I find something crazy & I end up checking that out. Example: today I went to go find a good deal on sheets other than on Overstock.com... whose deals are REALLY good, but I was determined to find better... and I ended up coming across some of the craziest stuff I’ve seen in a long time.....

Bed sheets that leave messages ON YOU... (yes, you read that correctly)... these sheets are embroidered in a raised pattern with the words written in a mirror reflection so that when they leave their mark they are totally readable....

Uh... ouch! No thank you!

The website states that this product is "a collection of bed sheets that plays with incidents that usually take place behind closed doors, in bedrooms. The sheets are embroidered with captions that leave an imprint on the sleepers’ body. The embroidery is strategically placed, so that different sleeping positions leave different imprints on the body. Not only do these imprints give a hint about the past night’s atmosphere, they suggest you what to do and tell things about you. The Rise and Sigh collection consists of three embroidered bed sets; for the bachelor, for the love affair and for the one night stand."

Maybe it would be a better idea if the sheets left imprints saying informative (but relevant to the situation) things like "don’t press too hard or I’ll pee"...... or possibly "pushing my head down is not a turn on"... or maybe "thanks, but you can go now". Sure, there could be nice ones as well.. maybe "do it again, please..." ? Anyway... THAT is one of the many reasons I love the hell outta Google.