Where The Lines Are Drawn

I got an email from my Mother this morning... well, afternoon. There was no chance in hell I'd be up before 12 after staying up till the sun rose with Leandra & Wendy Mae last night ('twas fun though!)... anyway, yeah, I got this email from my Mother... so in honor of Mother's Day (which is today) and the fact that my Mom kicks so much ass it's awe inspiring, I figured I'd re post the email here.
It's funny 'cause it's true........also more than a little bit disturbing:


LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT.


IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE  USA BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET

     •     A JOB,
     •     A DRIVERS LICENSE,
     •     SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
     •     WELFARE,
     •     FOOD STAMPS,
     •     CREDIT CARDS,
     •     SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
     •     FREE EDUCATION,
     •     FREE HEALTH CARE,
     •     A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
     •     BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
     •     THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY'S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON'T GET ENOUGH RESPECT
     •     AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION